Last time I wrote a submission, I was saying how it was 15 days since I last vomited. I can happily say that my puke-free streak lasted a full 34 days! my remission period lasted between Wednesday, May 3rd, up until Monday June 5th, Where I woke up feeling very fatigued. 34 days is the longest break I have had from my CVS in 6 years. It felt absolutely amazing to have a break that lasted over a month, not waking up feeling unwell and being able to have a full months worth of pay.
Since then, I have unfortunately had a few CVS attacks. I believe these were mainly due to my 2 main triggers: my monthly period, as well as overcoming a common cold.
This month has also been a bit stressful, Which also plays a part in my illness. Even though I had this little set back, I am still extremely happy that I made it over a month with no vomiting. Plus, My episodes still aren’t as severe as what they were before I started amitriptilyne. I am still taking 30 mgs before bed, However I am finding the sedative affect which once worked wonders is now starting to wear off and I am finding myself not getting into bed until 1 or 2 am each night. This can be an issue and lack of sleep can also trigger a CVS attack.
This seems to be a common thing with chronic illness sufferers. I’m not entirely sure of the cause or reasoning behind the issues with sleeping, however I wish to find out. The past few months have also been quite difficult. With my remission ending, I found that I was being quite hard on myself, not understanding why my illness decided to come back with such a vengeance after having such a good month without it. With these thoughts I found myself slowly sinking into a depression, Thankfully I was able to notice the signs and pull myself back out, for the most part anyway.
Having a chronic illness is more than a battle with your body, Its also a battle with your mind.
It’s hard to continually stay positive despite the reality of the condition in which I am struggling on a daily basis. Sometimes the support groups online can be a big help and comfort, but they can also be an unwanted reality check. There have been a lot of CVS warriors who have been in hospital and have not been doing so well. some of which have even passed away due to complications of CVS which is concerning to say the least.
The most important things I can focus on are my “good” days. Where I don’t wake up in pain, vomiting for anywhere from 30 minutes to a few days. That can be the worst part of a CVS attack, not knowing how long it will last for once it starts. All you can do is just ride it out and hope it doesn’t last too long, If I can, Ill try and sleep. I have heard that if I get into a deep enough sleep it resets the brain and can throw you out of an attack. I get lucky sometimes.
I’m hoping my next remission period will outlast the previous 34 day streak. I unfortunately have to start counting from tomorrow provided I wake up well, unlike this morning where it took a few showers and a zofran wafer to get myself into work. I’m just glad It didn’t last all day.
Here’s to hopes for good health!
A Chronic Mind; 